Shaad D'Souza

It would be kinda funny to try something new as my last meal

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Shaad D’Souza is a writer based in London. His work has appeared in the New York Times, GQ, Pitchfork, the Guardian, the Face, and more.

Where do you live most of the year?

London

What do you look for in a restaurant when you walk in?

If it’s a western restaurant, I only really care about ambiance, I want it to be bustling but not too loud… Like, if I’m going to a western restaurant, it’s probably just for the ambiance, right? I’m not sure how like, French cuisine or “New American” or whatever fits into my life so much right now, except for when I want a glamorous experience. I basically prefer eating Asian food in all its forms. If it’s an Indian restaurant, I want fluorescent lighting and white plastic tables. If it’s a Japanese restaurant, I probably want it to be calm bordering on austere, like Souen in NYC or or Tokyo Diner in London. If it’s a Chinese restaurant, I want it to smell incredible and be filled with elderly people.

What is your final meal?

I’ve never eaten a steak before. I think it would be kinda funny to try something new as my last meal.

3 guests for dinner, dead or alive?

Nicole Kidman, because she seems really truly wacky. Cole Escola, for one liners, and because I think they’re just so smart. And maybe my friend Zoe Williams, who is a Guardian columnist, loves to party, and has some of the most insane opinions I’ve ever heard (and doesn’t mind sharing them.)

Shaad’s Taste Maker Guide

Breakfast: All Are Welcome, Melbourne

Order: I just want to note that this place recently shut down because they were doing wage theft. This is obviously terrible, and I don’t support it at all! The wage theft was also just one of multiple dodgy things I’d heard about the owner—because I used to go so much that I just ended up hearing things—all of which to say I don’t support AAW obviously. But obviously, in terms of breakfasts, you can’t go past the AAW sausage roll and an oat NOLA.

In terms of places that are still open, I like going to Ester’s in Stoke Newington – for my money, the best breakfast in London. The menu changes seasonally, but they usually have a fried egg dish with various different veggies that’s off chops.

Coffee: Blank Street, Shoreditch

Order: Sue me! I like that you can get a cold brew year-round there, and I like their seasonal flavours, and I like that I feel like a giant because everyone else in there is a teenage girl.

Lunch: La Chanh, Melbourne

Order: Chicken noodles (dry) + Salt and pepper tofu + a VB or a diet Coke or both! The chicken noodles at La Chanh are to die for. It’s basically perfectly cooked thin egg noodles with a fried boneless chicken leg and a cup of insanely delicious broth and a small pot of the best chili sauce you’ve ever had in your life. I don’t know what they put in the dish as a whole but it’s phenomenal. Maggie, the owner, is extremely sweet too and whenever I go back, which I guess is once a year, we have a grand old catch up.

OR: I love having lunch at Dimes in Chinatown NYC. I have been going to Dimes since before the area around it was called Dimes Square – that is, for over a decade! – so don’t come for me!!!! I think I’ll be getting the salmon but it’s more about drinks so like: Wheatgrass Marg and a pH tonic and a coffee!

Special dinner: Facing Heaven, London

Order: I would describe this place as like, American dive bar style, but a semi-upscale vegan Chinese restaurant too, I guess it’s going for a Mission Chinese type thing… Like, coloured disco ball, loud punk music, formica tables, Modelos/PBRs on the drinks list. Then the food is incredible, super flavoursome and textural vegan Chinese food. Even my parents loved it. It’s also just kind of a ridiculous, rowdy place.

Casual dinner: Primo, Melbourne

Order: You know, I just think the pizza at Primo is kind of underrated, especially the Aloha, which is a ham and pineapple do. They used to have cherry cola that you could add vodka to, not sure about the situation at this point in time.

Special shoutouts

Heard Dat Kitchen in New Orleans, Recoin in Paris, the Hester St Cheung Fun cart in NYC, The Fly in NYC, Superbowl in Melbourne, Plaza Khao Gaeng in London, Delicious Food Corner in LA, Amphai Northern Thai Food Club in LA, Robert’s Western World in Nashville, Good Hot Fish in Asheville, El Jannah obviously, Julie in Melbourne, Soi 38 in Melbourne, I recently sent a pop star there and she loved it.